Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Dear Grandma - Sept 2nd 2014

Dear Grandma,

Words can't say how much I'm missing you. It's been 3 months since you left us and not a single day goes past when I don't think about you - and it hurts, bad.

Today A and I took the boys to the gardens in Bury, it has the most amazing flowers and the scent of fresh blooming flowers filled the air and I was instantly reminded that you are no longer here and I wanted you to be with us enjoying the flowers so much.

I wonder if you ever came to these gardens. I hope you did.. I regret not doing more with you, we take for granted what time we have and only miss things when it's too late. I'm going to make it my mission to do as much as physically possible from now on so I don't have regrets.

If you could see my garden now you would be so proud of me. Thats another thing I wish I had started whilst you were here, you were such a keen gardener and I wish you could guide me - but I have amazing green fingered neighbours who are teaching me. I'm growing all kinds of things, including fruit plants and mum gave me cuttings and plants that belonged to you before they moved and the other day she gave me a
viola, one of your favourite flowers.

I wish I knew when the hurt would be less. Even now writing this I feel like Ive been stabbed in the chest and I can't stop the tears, though I feel writing here will help me long term.

Rocket has his last day at preschool tomorrow, he starts school on Friday, I'm sad you won't be able to see him standing proud in his school uniform, he's such a little man now.

I love you x

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