|A little intentional holiday blur for you all!|
Sorry I haven't written really this month, but December was ridiculously busy for me. It bothered me that I hadn't written, or taken too many pictures (most were of clients!), but starting in 2015 I will be attempting a project 365. Wish me luck on that!
Anywho, between the kids holiday shows and whatnot, I feel like December just flew by. To be honest, up until Christmas, I was really down. I felt like I wasn't doing good enough for my kids, stepson, or my husband. I just couldn't shake it. I didn't even pick up my camera a lot, which was a surprise, because that's what usually gets me out of a funk. My running became mundane. The rock bottom was when I woke up on Christmas Eve, with a nasty message from Andrew's mother. Thats when I hit the rock bottom of my depression. Why couldn't I be good enough for everyone?
After talking to Laura, my co blogger here in the UK, I realized something. I am not only "good enough", but I am awesome. Yep, it sounds really self centered, but I have always thought I was a nothing, a loser, etc. But I am not. I am an AMAZING mother. I am always there for my kids, and they are so happy with life. I had stepped up when I was 21, almost 22, and became a caring full time stepmother officially when I was 24 and married Andrew's father. I am a loving wife. I am many things, but I am not a loser. And the second I realized that, all the sadness drifted away. I have been running so much longer, and my workout routine is great. I am in incredible shape. My kids adore me and their father. Even Andrew gets along with me and talks to me about everything. We are closer than ever. So what am I sad about? I have an amazing life. I ended up blocking a lot of people, and I feel freer than ever.
Doing this made my Christmas wonderful. We had a great Christmas Eve and Day. The kids didn't get a ton, but they never asked for more and loved everything they received. They were and are happy, just like their mommy. I took lots of pictures, enough to make up for my seriously lacking December. I only shared a few here, so as not to bog you down with everything. Who cares if some people don't like you, or attack you? Most of the time those people want bring you down, or are jealous. Only the people that care for you and yourself matter. I wish I had lived like this sooner!
In the end, I look forward to 2015. 2014 I spent with a lot of depression, but I haven't been this free and happy in awhile. I hope you join me on this ride on my project 365 site, being announced in the new year.
|Xmas Eve magic from 3 out of 4 of the mob|
From the entire Lynch mob, we wish you a happy new year, and we will see you in the AWESOME 2015 year!!!